Today has been a day, you know, one of those days that aren’t bad but not good either. It is average, the sky is out, there is some peace in the world and things aren’t getting done like they should or at least like you wanted them to.
By all counts, we should be happy to be alive. Happy to be able to complain about the little things like a rental car company doubling billing or the maintenance guy that hasn’t shown up for four days straight or even that rush hour traffic that we both know that we might sit in later.
Ironically enough, a friend of mine mentioned last week that she was strengthening her “gratitude” muscle. It was an interesting thought to me. Something I have been pondering in the back on my mind for a few days.
A muscle… not a bone, not skin, and not the little gray matter in my head but a muscle.
Interesting enough she also mentioned that while she was doing this strengthening, she was doing what she set out to do with a grateful heart but NOT putting herself in the middle of any drama, be it office or home or anywhere.
Okay, that was an even bigger thought for me to get my head around. Yet there is something really wonderful about it. Stepping back and being grateful, doing what you set out to do and avoid the vortex of negative toxic drama…
This week has been part one of the experiment: Taking my gratitude muscle out for the spin.
I am a beginner here so I prepare myself for the worst. I have those cute swimming water wings on, of course training wheels along with a helmet and about six layers of padding on and I started small.
I thanked a lady who held the door open for me. Just a smile, eye contact and thank you. Nothing. Bummers.
So I kept going on, to what I thought was other failures in exercising my gratitude muscle. Nobody acknowledged saying thank you, in fact making eye contact and a smile was the worst idea ever I thought. It opened the door for whoever to tell you about whatever negative or ugly thing that was happening to them. Late on the rent, bad knee, paycheck missing, business matters in trouble, questions about doing this or that, non-profits issues and the list goes on and on. It opened drama to my doorstep. It also delayed me in what I was setting out to do… just being grateful. I was very discouraged and in fact about to scrap this whole experiment…
Then about an hour ago, bang!
I called someone that I worked with and I thanked them for being the mentor and a reference for me. We had worked together on a foundation for years and this really was me, just calling to express my thankfulness. Working that gratitude muscle.
There was a laugh at the other end of the phone after I said thank you. One of those deep belly laughs like Santa at the Mall. It caught me totally off guard and rather upset me. I inquired about the laugh at thank you and he replied “Jeny, I know you are thankful, you don’t have to say thank you but it is nice to hear and be appreciated.”
Of course, the conversation led to why I was saying thank you, the gratitude muscle and various other things that came out of this experiment. Most was met with more laughs and chuckles at my expense. It wasn’t until it was said Hey maybe your gratitude muscle is fine but you need to work on your avoiding drama muscle and keep doing what you are doing muscle in conjunction with your gratitude muscle. Then it clicked.
Being grateful, saying thank you and living a grateful life is all good. And that is gratitude muscle. Now the second part is the “keep doing what you are doing” muscle. Admittedly that is tough as life can interrupt and really mess-up the schedule but again it takes that muscle to keep it on track. And finally the third part, “avoiding drama” muscle, care and concern are good things, however when it effects the other two muscles, well, maybe it is time to re-evaluate. I am still a beginner here and I am still learning how to use all three muscles at the same time…
So I am curious what you think.
How is your “gratitude” muscle? And those other muscles?
Moving Difference 